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Conquer Your Fears

This week’s post isn’t about exercise, nutrition or stress management tips…but don’t worry, there will be plenty more of that to come in the future. 🙂 Rather, this week’s post is a little more raw and little more personal…it’s about conquering your fears. And I’m writing this post for all of you as much as I’m writing it for myself.

What is fear anyway? According to Merriam-Webster Online, fear is defined as follows, “to be afraid and worried or to expect or worry about something bad or unpleasant.” While we all have fears and worries in life, we have to be able to separate the things that really warrant them and the things that are really just us getting stuck in our own heads…and for anyone who knows me well, I’m notorious for getting stuck in my own head…just ask my husband! Why? Well, if you were to ask me what my biggest fears are in life, I would tell you I’m afraid of losing the people I love, disappointing the people I love and failing. Therefore, those fears often cause me to worry, not take risks and more often than not, take the “safe” route and sometimes miss out on some really amazing opportunities and experiences.

Everyone has fears, whether it’s a fear of heights, flying, drowning, public speaking, taking a new job, changing careers, starting your own business, competing in a triathlon, letting go when your child is growing up, going back to school, taking an exam, going to the doctor when you might have a health issue, confronting a family member or friend about something, etc. It’s completely natural and happens to the strongest and best of us because we’re all human. When my kids tell me they’re afraid of the dark or monsters or bad guys, I tell them it’s okay because there aren’t any monsters or bad guys in our house, that they’re strong within themselves and that Mommy and Daddy will also protect them and keep them safe. However, what do we tell ourselves as adults? Well, the best thing we can do to conquer our fears is to put them front and center and truly face them. Also, here are some questions we can ask ourselves:

1. What is this fear trying to tell me? Is there a deeper issue I should be addressing?

2. What is the worse thing that can happen?

3. What if I did fail? Would it be that bad? Do I have a Plan B?

4. What would I miss out on if I didn’t conquer my fear?

5. What could I gain and learn if I conquered my fear and took a risk?

6. How would I feel if I was able to finally conquer my fear?

7. How would I feel if I wasn’t able to conquer my fear and had to keep living with it? Would I have any regrets?

8. What do I truly desire and how can I achieve it without letting my fear get in the way?

By addressing these questions and others, we can get to the root causes of our fears and how they might be impacting us and prohibiting us from taking action so we can be happy and free from those fears. 

The other thing to think about is if our ego is somehow getting in the way of conquering our fears. Maybe our fears have something to do with how others will perceive us or other things such as rejection, appearance, money, prestige, fame, power, status, etc. If we strip away our egos, allow ourselves to be vulnerable and focus on our truest, deepest and most authentic selves, perhaps our fears would be washed away… 

This weekend, I challenge all of you to think about any fears you may have and what you can do to address them and conquer them. And with that, I leave you with an inspiring quote to motivate you to conquer your fears. Until next time…

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” 

–Nelson Mandela

Works Cited: Merriam Webster Online, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fear

GoodReads, https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/fear

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